there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
