Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I checked into jail on foursquare
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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