That's intense
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
