Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
