Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
