I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Randomize
