i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
