Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
cat food counts as protein by the way
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
