fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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