I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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