Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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