just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Who died my cat blue again?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
