Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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