the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
