Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
