I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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