Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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