it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
