I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Randomize
