Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
