Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
