I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
