Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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