I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
