I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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