she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
