lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
