I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
