dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
