Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
