I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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