i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
