dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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