yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Randomize
