what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Randomize
