Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
