PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
