I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
