I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
