Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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