i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
