He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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