Sponge bath it is.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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