So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
