Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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