Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
