Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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