can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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