Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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