kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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