I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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