Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
