Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
