you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
