you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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