I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
